Modern Romance

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Modern Romance is comedian Aziz Ansari’s book on dating, relationships, love and marriage. The book compares today’s relationships with the past and presents interesting research findings along the way:

  • Geography had an important influence on marriages in the past, people used to marry their neighbors
  • Average age of first marriage used to be 20 (women) and 23 (men) in 1960s, whereas today it’s 26 (women) and 29 (men). People are getting married later
  • People used to look for a “companionate marriage” where each partner has a defined role in the household. Today people are looking for soul mates where the expectations are higher
  • “When a guy called and asked you out back then, it was a very special thing. You felt special and it was very flattering that he gathered the courage to do it.”
  • 20% of heterosexual couples meet their spouses online. This number is 70% for homosexual couples
  • In online dating, writing a standard message and then copying and pasting it to initiative conversations is 75 percent as effective as writing something more original each time
  • 90% of your fate as an online dater depends on the photos you pick. For men, the most effective photos are ones with animals, followed by showing off muscles (six-packs etc.). Men fare better when they are not smiling and are looking away from the camera
  • “Instead of trying to date so many different people and getting stressed out with texting games, I was really getting to know a few people and having a better time for it. Initially, we’re attracted to people by their physical appearances and traits we can quickly recognize. But the things that really make us fall for someone are their deeper, more unique qualities, and usually those only come out during sustained interactions.”
  • In the United States, 20 to 40 percent of heterosexual married men and 25 percent of heterosexual married women will have at least one extramarital affair during their lifetime.
  • In today’s romantic climate, many people are plagued by the upgrade problem: singles constantly wonder whether there is a better match, an upgrade.

Overall, I found the book to be a light read with interesting information. If you’re interested in this subject, definitely give it a shot!

August 4, 2015



sarp centel

Sarp is a software developer. He writes about technology, books and software.
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