A Journey of Artistic Exploration

Living in New York meant having access to world class art museums. In times of loneliness and boredom, I would find myself indulging in a museum, looking for creativity and inspiration.

After moving back to Istanbul, I found a similar sense of connection through Istanbul Modern Museum’s youth program, Genç Modern. It filled my calendar with regular events and introduced me to a new circle of friends. At the same time, I started to understand the art world and different players in the business of art: curators, art galleries, museums, and artists.

I was on a career break and decided to follow my curiosity without any goals. I tried to reconnect with things I had enjoyed as a kid. I asked my parents about my childhood interests, and they reminded me that I took watercolor classes in kindergarden, and showed me a photo of me in the park painting with other kids.

After years of being an art consumer, I realized I wanted to move from consuming art to creating it because I thought creating art could be more fulfilling than just visiting art galleries and museums.

I signed up for an art class at Masterpiece, an art studio in Istanbul. Everyone at the studio starts with pencil drawing to learn the basics. We learned about fundamentals of drawing, such as perspective, proportions, light and shadows.

I wanted to draw minimalist illustrations, not classical paintings, but there were no classes on this subject. I might have been better positioned to create digital art, but felt more of a pull and interest for analog art.

Along with my pencil drawing classes, I also experimented with different techniques by attending workshops on acrylic painting, punch needle, ceramic, and watercolor.

Acrylic painting was too dirty, having to thin the paint with chemicals felt off putting.
With ceramics, the feedback loop was too long - you have to dry it and bake it to see the result, it was not something I could do at home.
Watercolor painting was too difficult for a beginner.
I enjoyed punch needle, bought a lot of yarn and equipment, created lots of coasters. This would have been a great hobby during COVID days!

Going through different mediums gave me more depth and appreciation of art. Now, when I look at an art piece, I also notice the technique behind it, and have a better sense of how difficult it might have been to create it. This awareness adds a deeper sense of awe and enriches my experience.

After the fundamentals, next up on the curriculum was figure drawing. I found figure drawing to be difficult, and wasn’t interested in perfecting it.

I found drawing portraits to be easier and more enjoyable. I focused on portraits for a while, also used charcoal for drawing these portraits. After working on a portrait for 6-9 hours, I would find the end result very satisfying.

However, drawing portraits didn’t allow for creativity much, as you’re trying to draw a 1:1 copy of the original so it felt closer to engineering. You split your paper into smaller squares, and try to fill each square with the right proportions of the original image. It’s not very forgiving, even small deviations can alter the face significantly, making it no longer resemble the original person. It requires a tedius process that didn’t feel good.

Reflecting back on these explorations, I had a few insights:

I wasn’t drawn to adopting an artist identity. (didn’t feel like dressing up or living like the stereotypical artist, didn’t feel a strong belonging to that community)
I didn’t feel a strong need to express myself or communicate a message through art.
I didn’t particularly enjoy the process of making portraits, I mostly enjoyed the final result.

I realized that creating visual art, music, writing, or software all seem to satisfy a similar underlying need in different forms. I was already passionate about and experienced in crafting software, and the world rewarded me for doing so financially. I concluded that finding an alternative medium of creativity wouldn’t make me more fulfilled.

When I was following my curiosity, I didn’t have an end goal in mind or any idea on how art would fit into my life. Nevertheless, I could see how learning to draw could have practical benefits and help me in my software engineering job. I could draw diagrams to explain technical concepts, it could be useful in teaching or documenting software engineering concepts. In reality, this path didn’t materialize yet. Today, art has a more personal place in my life. I use it as a way to strengthen my connection with friends.