Radical Aceptance

In the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, there is a list of questions to identify what she calls “the trance of unworthiness”. I thought they were very powerful question to raise awareness about our judgemental selves:

  • Do I accept my body as it is?
  • Do I blame myself when I get sick?
  • Do I feel I am not attractive enough?
  • Am I dissatisfied with how my hair looks?
  • Am I embarrassed about how my face and body are aging?
  • Do I judge myself for being too heavy? Underweight? Not physically fit?
  • Do I accept my mind as it is?
  • Do I judge myself for not being intelligent enough? Humorous? Interesting?
  • Am I critical of myself for having obsessive thoughts? For having a repetitive, boring mind?
  • Am I ashamed of myself for having bad thoughts—mean, judgmental or lusty thoughts?
  • Do I consider myself a bad meditator because my mind is so busy?
  • Do I accept my emotions and moods as they are?
  • Is it okay for me to cry? To feel insecure and vulnerable?
  • Do I condemn myself for getting depressed?
  • Am I ashamed of feeling jealous?
  • Am I critical of myself for being impatient? Irritable? Intolerant?
  • Do I feel that my anger or anxiety is a sign that I am not progressing on the spiritual path?
  • Do I feel I’m a bad person because of ways I behave?
  • Do I hate myself when I act in a self-centered or hurtful way?
  • Am I ashamed of my outbursts of anger?
  • Do I feel disgusted with myself when I eat compulsively? When I smoke cigarettes or drink too much alcohol?
  • Do I feel that because I am selfish and often do not put others first, I am not spiritually evolved?
  • Do I feel as if I am always falling short in how I relate to my family and friends?
  • Do I feel something is wrong with me because I am not capable of intimacy?
  • Am I down on myself for not accomplishing enough—for not standing out or being special in my work?

She suggests:

As you go through your day, pause occasionally to ask yourself, This moment, do I accept myself just as I am? Without judging yourself, simply become aware of how you are relating to your body, emotions, thoughts and behaviors. As the trance of unworthiness becomes conscious, it begins to lose its power over our lives.